love

love
pure & simple

Monday, March 7, 2016

TJ, Teej, Theo, Big T, or yes, even Teddy:)

Short version: He's here!! At exactly 40 weeks. 3/4/2016 at 8:57am. 8lbs 6oz 21in.








Here's the long story: (I'm blunt, so reader beware;)

I had been having strong Braxton Hicks contractions for a few days/nights but on friday morning (3/4), I woke up to some so strong that I had to walk through them around 3am. I hung out in the bathroom timing them and prepping for the hospital trip until around 5am when they were closer to 5 minutes apart and so intense that I was throwing up too. I woke up Ben and he gathered his stuff and moved carseats while I woke up my parents so they could be on call for Marley (who woke up during the bustle but cuddled up with Grandpa watching a movie while we made our escape). My dad and Ben were able to give me a blessing to give me strength, TJ good health, and the Dr's good brains - my words, not his;) 

We arrived at the hospital around 7am. They couldn't confirm that my water had broken (hindsight: it was just a bit of watery discharge) and I was only dilated to a 3.5. So they didn't admit me and sent me walking the halls, they'd check me again at 8am. Ben was such an awesome support during this walk - getting me through each and every contraction, one at a time. And he didn't even read any of my "coaching" books! He knew I wanted a natural birth so he was perfect about getting me to focus on just the one contraction when I was convinced I would want the epidural the second they admitted me - if they EVER admitted me - yes, I was feeling very dramatic. But I assumed they were right - that I still had a long way to go and if the pain was already this bad, I wouldn't be able to handle much more. It was finally 8. Ben talked me into one more lap for good measure. And this was not a leisurely walk in the park walk - this was, according to our instructions, a "mall walk" walk. The contractions were so bad at this point that I started feeling like I really couldn't do anymore. (Hindsight: this would have been when I was in the transition phase.) Ben was amazing about supporting me - literally. I'm pretty sure during the peak of each contraction he was holding most off my weight as I had my arms around his neck bearing down. (No, I didn't realize the "bearing down" was a sign I was further along than I  thought I was.)

They checked me again I was only at a 4 and they still couldn't tell if my water broke so they were taking their time admitting me. Well, right after this I was having a pretty severe contraction and started feeling like I needed to poop. I told myself that I'd attempt that after the contraction, but at the peak - my water busted with the slightest push. Ben went to tell the triage nurse who had just left. From there, each contraction - I HAD to push. I laid down and the triage nurse kept telling me to stop pushing and I started panicking because I couldn't. She checked me again, minutes after confirming I was a four and said "your cervix is gone, you're having this baby". (From here on, what truly happened came from Ben. Because I was still in "don't push yet" world trying to breathe away my panic.) 

They gathered our stuff, called ahead, and started wheeling me to delivery. We got there and they kept telling me I had to move to the other bed, I could feel baby's head and I told them so, along with the fact that I could NOT "just roll over". Turns out I could - was just too terrified to move at all. I got on the other bed and was still keeping my legs closed and fighting the push and trying to calmly breath - I thought they still wanted me NOT to push. Then my midwife stood up to look at me in the face, yelled my name and said, "STOP BREATHING AND JUST PUSH!" That got my attention. Out he came after three pushes. 

It was only then that I realized how full that room was. There was my midwife, a backup physician (just in case something went wrong with my oober fast delivery), a pediatrician (apparently there was Meconium in my broken water, so he was there for that), and a bunch of nurses and students (I didn't think about that when signing up for a delivery at a University hospital... my bad). There were between 10-15 people in there. They cut the cord immediately and rushed TJ to the "french fryer" lights to check him out. He wasn't crying and they didn't want to stimulate his crying reflex until they suctioned him out so he wouldn't get any Meconium in his lungs. So we just had to anxiously watch and wait for him to get cleaned up. One nurse in particular was great about staying with me and telling me exactly what they were doing and why. Every parent understands that panic when they don't immediately give you your baby. But he's a champ and all went well. Nothing in his lungs. He's passing all his screenings and tests very well and I'm especially enjoying the heavy newborn sleeps and cuddles.


I could not have done this without Ben. He always questioned my desire for an unmedicated birth. (Why have pain, when there's drugs right? He's right by the way:D) but I love the fact that he jumped on board and is 100% exactly what I need when I need it.

I went into this with such a plan (I didn't even get to turn on my labor and delivery playlist!) When in reality, your body is going to do what it is going to do. I learned so much from this - I can trust my body and mind to do hard things. Even when I don't realize I'm in the very thick of it. I just need to keep stepping one foot in front of the other and I'll get through it. I can only hope to remember this when I'm in the heat of parenting this little man:)

Marley is so sweet with him, constantly wanting to hold him and love him. Which definitely has it's pros and cons.