week 27 - a picture of your favorite memory

Another draft I found...

Last week at church someone got up and talked about how difficult marriage was. She preached about how others don't need to hear about your problems, only He does. How even though sometimes you ask yourself "why did I ever marry him?" you have to dig deep to find the answer. I had a hard time concealing my emotions. Was she being serious? Was she really getting up in front of the entire congregation and basically announcing that she was having marital problems? And why was no one else shocked at this situation?

This is how I see it: Imagine a situation wherein you get to pick your co-worker. You can take as long as you want to find the 'perfect' one. You can even test out the relationship by spending a lot of time together before you actually offer them the job. What are some things you want in a co-worker who you will be working with for the rest of your life? Dependability, honesty, humor, agreeableness, conciesousness, communication, the list goes on and on. What will you need from your co-worker so you can be the best you can be? For me, I need (in no particular order) to be able to laugh, be comfortable, be praised, be respected, be cared about, be listened to, be relied on, be involved, be talked to, again - the list goes on and on. Now you want to make sure you will be able to provide for your co-worker what they feel is important as well. So you should definitely have that conversation before the job is offered. Keep in mind, this 'co-worker' is going to be in your life forever.

I'm not saying that finding an eternal companion should be about checklists and selfishness but I certainly am not a believer in the 'follow your heart' mush that is too often portrayed in society (and I'm not just blaming the media). And no, I don't feel that I'm being hypocritical. I know I have the mushy, fairy tale love and I'll tell the world about it. But I think my realistic attitude about marriage has helped me find that.

Dr. Phil actually does have some good insights. One time I heard him say that you're unhappy when your realities don't meet your expectations. And I agree with that. If you expect marriage to be all bliss and honeycombs - when you have your first fight, the first words that come out of your mouth with be, "I didn't sign up for THIS". However if you have realistic expectations - "I love this man. I know we each have opinions and our own minds and we will each use them - that's just another reason why I love him. Sure, we'll have fights but everyone does and if we communicate effectively we will only grow closer from the experience. We have taken the time to get to know each other enough that I know he has the same goals and beliefs about life that anything else I learn about him will only bring us closer." Please keep in mind that these expectations are for both members of the couple. No matter how great one spouse is - it is impossible for one person to give the 200% required to have a successful marriage.

I guess it touched me so much because I'm so lucky to have a man who's stuck with me forever who already knows me so well and is already so stinkin' wise. I don't believe in soul mates but there's no doubt in my mind that we were made for each other.

Although I took a VERY long time to try and decide what my favorite memory was, I finally decided that those kind of favorites also change with time. 5 years ago it would have been when I met my 'BFF' (cheesy - I know) by having a water fight with some crazy girl I hardly knew. 4 years ago it would have been when Ben so eloquently and innocently asked me if we could start dating. 2 years ago it would have been the ridiculous soda throwing fight I had with Ben that made me realize I couldn't live without him. I've had a wonderful life thus far and I know it's only going to get better as Ben and I progress out of our honeymoon phase. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being Ben's only 'girl' - I was actually selfish enough to have a conversation with him where I made it clear that when we have a little girlchild - I still want to be his one and only 'girl'. That's just another testament to how completely unprepared I am to start having children:)

On that note... I actually think my favorite memory as of this moment is when Ben and I visited Fern and Dereck in the hospital where they had just welcomed the newest little addition into their family. Emma Elizabeth Hooley. It was the first time I actually felt natural holding a newborn. Normally I shy away from them - I prefer toddlers that can fall and not break. Ben and I talked about my change in attitude which led into a conversation about family planning. He mentioned that he's always been ready to have a family with me. But he also knows me well enough to know that if he had pushed me AT ALL about having babies before I was ready, I would have gone all Rosie the Riveter on his behind. And who knows where we would have been. Maybe it doesn't sound sweet to anyone else but me, but I love that he knows me well enough to know when to push and when to be patient and let/help me reach conclusions on my own. What a guy... what a guy

blogging away time...

I found a few drafts of blogs I had started, completed but never posted. Better late than never:)

I have a paper to write. It's due tomorrow. But ya know, I'm not really feeling the academic me is ready for it quite yet. So while I wait for her to meander her way to Microsoft Word I'll entertain myself in the world of blogging with no purpose.

What to write about, I could address the ever-incresing problem of world hunder?....or maybe my quick-fix to international peace?....water conservation?....nah. Water... I fell in a pool once....That's it! I'll talk about my summer in Frisco!

Well I have to tell first why I went. But I can't. There was no reason. I heard about it, thought it'd be fun, and signed up. I can't even explain why I didn't try to recruit people I already knew to come with me, or why I wasn't very anxious at all. It was just something that needed to be done. There were bugs in San Francisco and I needed to kill them.

So I went. Home long enough to do my dirties (for non-Page readers: dirties=laundry). Then on my way. I was a big girl, flying on my own.

That's when I started freaking out.

I was on a plane, by myself. I was going to California, by myself. I would be there for 4 months, by myself. I knew no one I would be living with or working with. In case you've missed it, I would be BY MYSELF.

Now that that (I've always wondered about "that that's." How would you be grammatically correct?) fact is clear...that I was completely by myself, I can move on.

The summer began with a scare and ended with a splash. Both of those verbs are literal. Promise.

Let's start with the scare... For those who have never worked in summer sales or pest control, most salesmen prefer to knock doors in the newer developments. Maybe because new home owners are a little more willing to invest in pest control, security systems or whatever you're selling. Whatever the psychology behind it, I was glad. I preferred to service homes that still smelt (smelled?) new. Unfortunately, one of my sales reps decided he served a greater purpose, forget about preventing pests, he was going to rid the world of them. Where to start? At their nest. It was a little neighborhood lined with condo's built so close together, there wasn't room to fit a lawn mower between them. It's pretty common sense that if your neighbor gets pesticides laid down, bugs move next door. So this sales rep only needed to sign up one house and all the other owners came pouring out clammoring for our services (you'll see why this 'pouring out' is a bad omen in a minute). The sales rep left after finalizing a weeks worth of contracts and I was left to do the dirty work.

The first house wasn't so bad. I needed to lay down a couple glue boards to confirm the type of bug we were dealing with and then I sprayed down the interior and exterior of the house. Second house, same deal but saw a few roaches so I added bait to the mix. Third house... bad news. They had a major roach problem. I realized I needed to find the nest (or at least A nest) these nasty things were coming from. So I started checking the water boxes out in their front yards. Fifth house down the street, I pop it open and all I see are disgusting, vile, HUGE cockroaches climbing all over each other. I pull out the only weapon I had - in retrospect, it wasn't very smart... - my backpack pesticide sprayer and I doused those suckers. I can't emphasize this enough,

THIS WAS A BAD IDEA.

Roaches were everywhere. Within seconds they were pouring out of the water box and covering the front lawn. Within minutes, crawling up the walls of houses. Between seconds and minutes... crawling up me. I could feel them crawling up my pants on my bare legs and I kinda lost it. Lost my pants that is. I dropped my pants and ran for the safety of my bug truck. Those were the first pants I lost on the job that summer.

Whew, I'm gonna need a minute to calm down... I HATE roaches.

Now for the splash, this story is a little less intense. And by that I mean I don't get the heebie-jeebies when I tell it. This took place at a gorgeous house, with a gorgeous yard and a gorgeous little family. After making some small talk with the family I went on to start my routine around their house. We always started by dewebbing the eves along the perimeter of the house to get the spiders out to rebuild so they walk through the spray when it's most potent. I like to think I was so incredibly focused on my job that I just didn't see it coming. After taking a quick glance around the backyard I didn't note anything out of the ordinary. My eyes didn't differentiate between the grey of the concrete and the grey of their pool cover...

As I was focusing on getting a particularly stubborn web, I took a few too many steps back, fell on my rump and the 'concrete' started sinking. Extremely confused, I couldn't understand why water was gushing towards me as I was sitting on sinking concrete. Have you ever tried to get out (or off) of a pool cover? Now try it while holding a 15' extendable pole. Yeah, I coulda won America's Funniest Home Video's with this scene. You can imagine the looks I recieved as I calmly rang their doorbell and explained that I would need to come back tomorrow to finish their service as I was clearly sopping wet.

There were certainly more stories that I wish I had documented as they happened, staring a rat dead in the eyes in a creepy old attic, fogging a house, then turning around and seeing the owner stading behind me with no respiratory gear on, the list could go on and on. But these were the two stories that I feel sum up my summer doing pest control.

week 28 - a picture of your night

Better late than never - no?

"Really? We got all this crap for free?"

I think this picture pretty much sums what my first two weeks were like after Ben left for Colorado. Yup, pretty dismal. It was my 2 week ode to the Friends episode where Joey and Chandler get burglarized because Joey ever so smartly locks himself in his 'fine italian crafted' entertainment center.

But don't be feeling sorry for me, I worked. A lot. On second thought. Yes, feel sorry for me:)

an ending of a new beginning...

Honestly, the purpose of this blog is to remind me to document our life. If I can't keep a journal maybe this will suffice:) And the reason why I began the 30 day challenge was to get me back in the habit of blogging away time. This past few weeks I think I could have written some funny (possibly regretted) blogs so now that there is more certainty in my life, I feel as though I can write with a more omnipotent hand.

It all started back in July - Ben had casually mentioned how he wasn't looking forward to the rest of his college experience studying engineering. Let's face it - it's a tough program and the economy wasn't boosting his confidence by throwing internships his way.We didn't really resolve the issue because he didn't really know what else he would want to do with the rest of his life. So a few days later I saw this blurb on MSN that showed the top ten jobs that paid bookoo (sp?) bucks that required minimal (in reference) training. One was an air traffic controller. I had never thought about this before but the minute I read the title - I knew Ben would be great at it. He handles stress like no one I've ever met and he's quick as a cat, mentally and physically - good for directing those planes ya know:) . So I sent him a text asking him about it.

Now he's in Colorado and I'm stuck in Logan until January. BUT here is when the fun begins - Ben and I will each be responding to the 30 day challenge answers on our own. Ever seen that episode of 'King of Queens' where Carrie talks about 'tentpoles'? Even though Ben is not estatic about building 'tentpoles' he has decided to indulge me in this request. Woohoo!

week 28 ... kinda...

Day 03 - a picture of the cast from your favorite show (wicked)

I feel like I just need to repost my former post about Wicked in Chicago. But of course I won’t. …For some reason I feel compelled to explain why Les Mis did not make this week’s challenge. This is one of the perks of breaking this up into weeks rather than days – I get plenty of time to think about my responses. Lucky YOU!

Wicked Witch of the West and Mad Hatter - A delightful couple!

As incredible as the show was, it had no real chance to compare with what I had already envisioned in my head. I had been listening to the soundtrack my entire, ENTIRE life (it wasn’t just a phase), could sing along with every song and had read the book – unabridged – twice. Basically, I knew the story, there were no surprises. I’m not saying Les Miserables wasn’t INCREDIBLE because it was! I bawled like a baby throughout the whole thing. I fell in love with Eponine’s story all over again, was entranced by Valjean’s voice once more and was pleased that the Thenardiers’ still provided some comedic relief. Otherwise I would have been a COMPLETE basket case, not just a partial one. I feel horrible saying this but I’ve thought about it and it’s completely true, I enjoyed myself ever-so-slightly more during my first show with Wicked than I did with Les Miserables. But that does NOT mean that Les Mis is any less of an incredible experience.

With Wicked, it was the same story minus the reading part. I had, again, memorized the entire soundtrack years before I actually saw it but I hadn’t read the book so I only pieced together portions of the story from the music and mingled in my own imagination as well. And to my shock, their story line was better. Hmm, maybe that why I’m not a writer. Anyway, I highly recommend BOTH of these shows to anyone and everyone. 

week 29 - a change of heart

Week 2 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

I don't like this label. It has me compartmentalizing all my relationships into times and "levels of closeness". But closeness is too complex a word. Physically - it's my co-workers, I'm always at work. Emotionally? Mentally? Who knows!


So I'm taking the easy route, Martha has been my sister for 23 years (plus or minus an eternity), and we have been across every level of closeness over that time. I remember trying to throw a chair at her in our youth because I was just that furious! Of course I don't remember what she was doing at the time but I remember it was in the boys room. I can still smell the stink of what we all blamed on the iguanas but was more than likely the stench of just that, boys. Yick!


On the other end of the spectrum, I remember jogging to her house at 3 in the morning because I could rely on that closeness during a particularly rough patch in my life (and freaking out her neighbor since I had no way to get inside so I was 'prowling' around her house... but that's a story for another time). She's going to make a great Therapist. She knows when to be serious, she knows when you need to laugh, and she'll make it happen. She's understanding, patient and gives great advice. She has this tough girl facade that runs deep - yes, I know that's a contradiction. But it's true, she's tough as nails on the outside and has a genuine strength on the inside. Hmmm... Maybe this topic isn't so bad....


The picture part of this was pretty tough. I have a lot of pictures of us together and it's hard to just pick one. It actually made me want to dig through my kid pictures to find one of just us together - to prove that we liked each other when we little too - but I kept being drawn back to this one. And it's the grossest one I have! It was while we were working at IFA together. Some lovely person clogged up the toilet and there was nastiness all over the floor, leaking out into the hall. I was a pee-on (pun not intended) so it was expected that the clean-up should have fallen on me but Martha was a more valued and upper ranked employee. She didn't have to help. But she did.


I think you see where I'm going with this, She didn't have to help clean up raw sewage but she did to help her sister. Blah blah, more emotional drivel. But seriously, She jumped in (not literally, that'd be gross) without hesitation and helped. Now I don't think she thought of it this way at all - her helping her little sister - I know she thought it'd be fun to get all hazmated up, we had a blast! But I think that's what I love about her the most, she can make the most out of any situation. Even when there's poo on the floor:)

the countdown - week 30

Updated Note: This blog is titled “the Bare Beat” yet as I’ve been perusing the past posts I’ve noticed something, it’s mostly about me. Sure, Ben pops in here and there but in all honesty, until we start having kids I think this blog will be hovering around that somewhat conceited note. Sorry! But I will make an effort to include Ben in on this 30 week challenge. Maybe we’ll have a column “She” and a column “He”…..

 I haven’t been great about blogging but I recently saw this on a friend’s blog and wanted to try it. But not in 30 days – I'm not that dedicated, I’m shooting more for 30 weeks. That way, blogging should become a habit and I can include recent goings-on in our life. At least that’s the plan. Let’s see how it turns out.

 

Week 01 - A picture of yourself with ten little known facts

Opening night! Ah-MAZ-ing! -the show, not the lady's rear.

1. I worked at a pony ride and it is still, to this day, the BEST job I have ever had.

2. Contrary to what I’d always thought, I don’t like my sandwiches cut in any way. I fought with myself for a long time on this one. I felt like I needed to have a way to cut them; diagonal, horizontal, squares, triangles? I found myself hiding this from Ben. He would always cut my sandwich for me in what he thought was a cute show of affection (little did he know, it was tearing me apart inside). Instead of coming clean, I began taking a really long time to put my sandwich together so he would already be eating his and not notice that mine was uncut. But as of a few days ago I finally accepted myself and came clean, the center of the sandwich is the best part. don’t disrupt it.

3. I played soccer while growing up. I was primarily the goalie and I won’t lie, I felt like I was pretty darn good at it. In fact, our rival team gave me a nickname, “the wall”. Yes, I was flattered but because of my oversensitivity and the fact that I was (and still am) a porky kid:), I was always a little paranoid about it. 

4. I pretend to love and want a motorcycle. In reality, I’m terrified I would fall off of it and die. Considering my background with bicycles, I think those feelings are valid.

5. I have never broken a bone; which is pretty cool considering I hate milk (no calcium) and I’m clumsy.

6. I have an issue with #5. Once when I used this fact in a game of “Never have I ever”, I was told I must lead a boring life. I’ve rolled down mountains, been bucked off horses (and ponies), dove into pools of kicking feet (with cleats on), and lived a life with no shoes traipsing around the neighborhood as a child just as the other kids did. No I don’t lead a boring life. I lead a successful life. When I did stupid things as a kid, I didn’t get caught because I broke something – I got away with it. Is that the definition of success??? Hmmm. Thought provoking comment I just made there:)

7. As a kid I wore leg braces. I was pigeon-toed and had to wear these leg straightening metal brackets every night. Martha was the lucky one who shared a bed with me. I’m told she still has scars from my “jimmy legs”. 

8. My picture and one of my programs was in the most recent edition of the USU magazine. It was exciting:D

9. I am taking classes again, Management and Accounting. I want to work for Target as an HR rep. Hopefully my boss never reads this… Although I’m sure she’s gotten my obvious hints that I don’t particularly enjoy the behind the scenes aspect of fundraising.

10. I love traveling! Not by car, but by every other mode of transportation. My ultimate vacation destination would be to go on an African Safari. Where I could hold and play with all sorts of baby animals; elephants, tigers, lions, kangaroos, sea lions, panda bears, zebras, EVERY kind of baby animal!

There you have it. My goal was that, no matter who read this – even Ben, that they would learn something new about me. Did I succeed?